iPoo

Following the launch of the newest iPad (is it 3, 4 or 3.62 anyway?), one cannot help but observe and conclude that we live in a dominant materialistic society. Before I start casting stones though, allow me to confess my own sins: I am a chocoholic, I check facebook frequently, I enjoy food (a lot!), i enjoy sex, I like buying new clothes (though not brands) and I cannot do without my iPhone (a couple of times I fell asleep holding it!).

However, there is a big difference between enjoying the pleasures of modern life and technology, and letting them control your whole life. We all desire these – not so cheap – products to some extent. And they are essential to us – also to some extent, depending on our line of work and how important networking is to us. In order to play the game, one has to follow the rules. Unfortunately, whether we like it or not, mobile phones, laptops, computers, iPads, smartphones are becoming a significant factor of our everyday lives. 

Think back, 20-30 years ago. How did people communicate without mobile phones? They would call each other at home – if you are not in, you don’t pick up, tough, try again. How did they find directions without smartphones? They would ask for them. Or carry a map. How did people find answers to all sorts of questions? They used encyclopedias stashed on the top shelf of their bookcase. How did they find out news of their loved ones across the world? They wrote letters to each other. So we could actually survive, without technology.

Yet, since these tools become available to us, should we not use them? Have they not brought us closer to people who live far? Have they not offered us the opportunity for increasing our general knowledge? Do they not enable us to get a task done faster and more accurate? The answer to all of the above is affirmative. However, we need to draw the line and take a step back when we realise that we are not dominating technology anymore, but that it dominates us.

I saw pictures of people sleeping outside the Apple store for days and nights (!), so that they could be the first ones to get their hands on the newest iPad version. Completely pathetic and ridiculous, if you ask me! Allow me to add here, that I have no problem with the specific brand or their products; my only problem lies with the crazy people that drop everything in their lives to queue for the latest product: their jobs, families, responsibilities, personal hygiene (I did mention they sleep out there for days, right?). Last year, a guy admitted to missing his own son’s birthday, so that he could queue outside the Apple store to buy the new iPad. I honestly hope his son grows up to resent him!

I can understand some degree of fascination and curiosity, if you are into technology and gadgets, but to sacrifice so much is unthinkable. I wonder though, who are those people that get to queue out there? First of all, they must have decent jobs and earn a good salary, in order to afford these products on their release day. But heavy salaries usually come with heavy commitments. How are they able to drop everything and take 3 days off for that reason? How do they even tell their boss, without getting fired? Then, let’s say they do get it and take it home all happy and excited like a kid who got his present for Christmas. How much of an impact is it going to have on their lives? How different is it really from the latest version? Why was it so crucial to get it now and not 2 months later?

Unless the latest version of iPad can turn back time and offer you those precious hours you wasted whilst waiting for it and marginalising your life and the lives of those around you for its sake, then you are nothing more but a fool. And whilst you have that prized toy in your hands (cause it is a toy after all), try searching on Google, how many children are dying of starvation today. Or whilst you are queuing for its next release, perhaps look to your side at the homeless man shuffling through the garbage. Maybe you could have put your money into a better use. Angry Birds looks good in the older iPad version as well.

PS. There is actually an application called “iPoo”. I will not even go into it. Have a look yourselves and draw your own conclusions.

The City

It is true that the past, as we perceive it, is an important part of us and our lives. The teachings of the past guide us into our present actions, which in turn forge our future. All our lessons learned, experiences had, mistakes made, relationships formed, attempts fallen apart, goals achieved or dreams set aside, form an amalgamation of our past and of the way it affects us. Often we try to relive it, return to it or hold on to it tight for as much as we can. Other times we turn our back on it, deny it or lie about it. Yet, as the Greek poet C.P. Kavafis states: “The city will follow you”.

I came across a number of people from my past in the last few weeks. People with whom I shared laughs, tears, experiences. And it is scary, worrying and frightening to see all of them move forward with life. They have degrees, jobs, houses, money, girlfriends, husbands, babies. They know where they come from and where their life is heading. And it is upsetting to come to the realisation that my life does not look as clear as theirs, that I have come to accomplish so little compared to them and that I would like to succeed in so much but that time is only moving forward and not backwards. It is disheartening to embrace the sad truth that my career path is uncertain, that my life is as empty and lonely as ever, that I have no fucking clue where to head and that it is highly unlikely I will ever achieve half of the things I dream of.

Reading between the lines, however, not everything may seem as black and white. Following down a certain path, just because family, peers, society or age dictate so, is undeniably not the path to happiness. Compromising yourself, your dignity and your emotions to be with the first available person, just because you are too scared of loneliness, is not the way to conquer your fears. Planning what you might think is the inevitable, whilst living in an eternal bliss of denial, is certainly not the way to be true to yourself. And returning to what is familiar, safe, accepting the easy route, taking the logical option, is definitely leading to a backwards track and not moving you forward.

And what is even more certain is that the life of one is not everyone’s cup of tea. Have I made mistakes and wrong choices in my life? Absolutely. Do I wish that my life turned to be different? Hell yeah. Do I envy the lives of others? Momentarily. But then I realise that that would not be my own life and that would not have been me. Perhaps I would be happier. Or perhaps I would still be the miserable sod I am now. What may have worked for someone else, would not necessarily work for me. I can only work with what I have now though and if returned to my past, the ghost of my potential future would be chasing me instead.

What I’ve been trying to do though for the past few years, ever since I left my “city”, was to reconcile the past with the future. Whether unwillingly, forced by others, or whether it was voluntarily, to succeed in keeping in my life both worlds, a tag of war was gradually formed between what has been known and what is to come. And while the past comes in useful to building on its foundations or learning from previous mistakes (or even just perfecting them when repeated), the only way to move forward is to be rid of it. Unfortunately, it cannot be thrown out of the window. Some random idiot will always pick it up and ring your doorbell filled with glee about their amazing discovery. But you can choose to throw it back at their face and not bother about gluing it back together anymore. I may not know where I am heading and the road might not be that far, but hitching a ride back to where I came from would be the wrong option.

You said, "I will go to another land, I will go to another sea.
Another city will be found, better than this.
Every effort of mine is condemned by fate;
and my heart is -- like a corpse -- buried.
How long in this wasteland will my mind remain.
Wherever I turn my eyes, wherever I may look
I see the black ruins of my life here,
where I spent so many years, and ruined and wasted."

New lands you will not find, you will not find other seas.
The city will follow you. You will roam the same
streets. And you will age in the same neighborhoods;
in these same houses you will grow gray.
Always you will arrive in this city. To another land -- do not hope --
there is no ship for you, there is no road.
As you have ruined your life here
in this little corner, you have destroyed it in the whole world.

Constantine P. Cavafy (1910)