Can You Hear Me - God ?

Tonight we tackle the controversial and long-debated issue of religion. If you are fanatically against or in favour of religion, to the point where you are inelastically narrow-minded and have shut yourself from any ideas or beliefs other than your own precious ones, then I suggest you read another blog that might perhaps boost your ego – ‘cause it’s not going to be this one. Before I attempt to express my own view on the matter, I would like to do a small analysis on the three bodies of this issue: Church, Religion and God. Like the Holy Trinity, they perhaps seem inseparable but looks can be very deceiving.

Let’s begin with Religion. There are probably as many religions as nations out there and since the dawn of time religion has been an important aspect of society, often losing its true value and being misused by humans. Religious fanaticism has always existed. People and nations have battled each other for the dominance of one religion. Cain kills his own brother Abel for the love of their God and many humans and races followed his example afterwards. Greeks killed in the name of Ares and Vikings in the name of Odin. The Christian Crusades lasted for years, while Islamic acts of terrorism can occur in the name of the one true God. However, if we look closely at the origins of religions, we will discover that their purpose is pure. Religions evolve as a means for humans to explain what they don’t understand: the sun and love in ancient times, life and death (something which has always been a mystery) or miracles and sightings. Religions also serve as codes of behaviour and the expected consequences of misbehaviour. “Thou shalt not kill” and “thou shalt not steal” do not sound that horrible to me! As for “thou shalt not commit adultery”, you can refer to my respective blog entry. Law and order (aside from language and logic – though the latter is debatable) is what often distinguish us from animals. A set of rules that guide us to a virtuous life and a society in harmony are not ridiculous or unnecessary.

Whether we follow a particular religion or not, whether we even believe in one god, many gods or none, I think we can all learn from what religion is trying to teach us. Like all things, religions evolve and change. Forcing them either towards extinction or dominance is not the way. Religion has just been misused in the hands of humans. It has been abused, like all objects and ideas. A knife in the hands of a doctor can save lives; in the hands of a murderer, a knife will take away lives. Religions may seem to divide and separate, but is it not simply used as another excuse to do so? People who want to be different will always find a reason to be different: race, skin colour, nation, language, looks, sex, sexuality, profession, social status. Wars will always happen. Let’s admit it: wars happen for dominance and economic reasons. Call your reasoning “religion” or “Helen”, it doesn’t matter. I have friends who are religious and I have some who are not. I have friends and have met people from different backgrounds, with different beliefs. And it all comes down to this: a good person is a good person, despite of which box they tick under “religious views” on an HR form.

Which brings me to the church, because the church is not god and is not religion; it is humans. Each church/religion has its own set of “rules”: eat this, don’t eat that, no sex before marriage (if you contracted an STD recently I bet that doesn’t sound like such a bad idea!), fast so many days, pray so many times, donate so much money, wear this, sit like that – the list is endless. We all need to understand and accept that most of this set of rules came from humans. They might have been prophets, saints, holy people, church leaders but they are still humans (or aliens according to some). They are not gods. If someone chooses to follow a religion and a church, then let them be. It is their life. However, if you don’t agree with certain things that the church is trying to impose on you about things that have to do with your everyday life, then do what your heart tells you to do but do not let it turn you away from your god or your religion. It is more important helping others, rather than having cabbage for lunch, so weigh your priorities.

The church (including both the leaders and the mass) supposedly serves to represent god and religion. However, we all know this is not always the case. Some church leaders have been of course virtuous and close to perfect. Some church members are devoted and do their best to be good people. A big number of people though use religion to their advantage, whether for power or money or because they might be insane. Followers are manipulated, texts are altered, the truth is distorted and as a consequence people are drawn away from religion. It is understandable but again we need to remember that it is not the cloth that makes a descent priest, just like it is not a scrub that makes a good surgeon. As for the church followers, if they are fanatical, extremists, misguided, misinformed or just plain stupid, it is not their religion’s or their god’s fault.

Which finally brings us to God a.k.a. Allah, Jehovah, Vishnu, Zeus, Shangdi, Theos, Jesus, Tenri-O-no-Mikoto – the list is indeed endless. And by this point readers are probably wondering what my view on God is. Well, let me tell you this, whether there is a flying spaghetti monster in the skies or not, I do not know, I do not lose sleep over it and most definitely I cannot change it. I can neither prove nor disprove that God exists. I see however the need of a divine presence in the lives of humans. We need something to look up to, to urge us to become better people or to help us understand why certain things happen. Each human believer in God has their own reason for doing so and we all have an obligation to respect that. If it is a bunch of crap and a waste of time and energy, like fanatic atheists will claim, then why is it your concern? Why do you waste time and energy in non-believing something? Why do you make every discussion (whether it originates from films, football, politics, science or food) come back to disproving the existence of God?

Sure, if He (or She) does exist, I have a lot of questions that need answering, such as: Why is there so much suffering in the world? Why do bad things happen to good people? What the fuck happens to us when we die? Why do you not just show up yourself and get it over with? And why does chocolate have to taste so good, yet contain so many calories? But spending half of my day in trying to ridicule religious people is just sad and pathetic. If you overcome the fact that God does not exist, then surely you need to make the most of your life and this is how you choose to spend your time? As for the everlasting debate of science and religion, just a quick note: One does not mutually exclude the other – fact! Simply because we are able to explain how the universe is created, does not mean that someone did not put that matter and anti-matter there in the first place. If the particles have been there forever and there was no beginning in time, then that is as fucking mind-blowing and incomprehensible as God himself!

Bottom line in all of the above: Choose your own belief or fluctuate between a few if you want. Do not be radical about it though. Learn to be open-minded, respect other people’s choices and let them find their own path the same way you are struggling to find yours. And if you are still unconvinced and screaming at your screen as you read this blog that god is crap, that people are stupid for believing in one and that such thing does not exist, then I dare you to this: Find a mourning mother who has just lost her child. Life has no meaning for her and the only thing keeping her sane is that her child is in the hands of god and that there is an afterlife. Walk up to her face and tell her that she is a fucking idiot for believing that. And if you still unmoved then do this: Look yourself in the mirror and convince yourself of it. Personally, I am struggling and I want to believe that there is someone/something out there that is bigger and more divine than this, ‘cause every step I take towards not believing in it, the more miserable I become in accepting that this around us is all there is after all.

Nothing Important Happened Today

I haven’t written in my blog for a while, not because I didn't want to but because I couldn't find the right time. A lot of things have happened in the past 3 months, which I would not say were “life-changing” but most certainly did occupy most of my time and mind. Experiences which have not necessarily always ended in a climax but which have made the transition of this time more interesting. Friends getting married, trips to old and new places, being introduced to new people, catching up with old friends and family, near-to life-changing attempts and decisions, meeting semi-famous and famous people, being beamed up in a Star Trek transporter, surviving a zombie apocalypse and a couple of minor health problems, just to name a few. Perhaps the most important of all though was witnessing a tragic car crash which occurred last night at my neighbourhood.

The circumstances of the accident are still uncertain but it seems that the driver lost control of the car somehow, drove off on the pavement and hit two pedestrians before crashing onto a wall. The scene was like something taken out of a movie. The emotions were all over the place. One of the two women died on site, whilst the other one is hospitalised in a critical condition. The driver survived the crush but I cannot imagine the pain he is going through, having to live with this event haunting him for the rest of his life. In a matter of a few seconds, the lives of three people and those of their families and friends have been altered forever. What sort of twisted unfortunate series of events placed those two women in the path of that car? One minute they are walking down the street, heading for a night out or a night in, thinking about the meal they are going to prepare or the drink they just had, rushing to meet someone loved or simply going home to feed their pet, but fate had different plans for them. Even the slightest attempt to understand, comprehend, explain this tragic loss of life is futile.

What perhaps perplexed me the most was the inability of most of us, the eyewitnesses, to act or help in any way. The car door was jammed; it took the firemen almost an hour to get the driver out. One woman was dead and the other injured; the paramedics were doing their best. But what was done, was done. I felt as useless as a cross screwdriver used to tight a slot screw. No-one could take that crash away. No-one could make time stop or turn it back. No-one could give life back. And no-one will ever be able to ease the pain of the dead woman’s loved ones. She is gone, off to a world which can only be better than this one. The tragedy remains with those left behind.

So where does this leave us? Do I close this entry with a god-send remark about how my life will never be the same or something along the lines of “carpe diem”? Do I tell you to pick up the phone and call all of your family members and friends, patch things up with those you are upset and hug random strangers in the street? Do I make a life-altering decision, make a 180-degree turn and stun everyone with my amazing new lifestyle and abilities? No, none of that will happen. Besides the wrecked wall, shattered glass, some blood stains and a few flowers, nothing is left to mirror the events that unfolded last night. The bright sun reminded nothing of the dark, cold and gloomy last night. All the police and ambulance cars are gone, the witnesses walked back inside their houses and the police officers, firemen and paramedics moved on to another scene. People say that “shit happens” and we have to accept it. But can we?

Uncovering Cancer

Cancer targets one in every three people. It has some way or another touched all of us and those around us. Being currently a scientist in cancer research, I attempt to answer 5 burning questions that everyone has about cancer – in as simple, non-scientific terms as possible.

What is cancer?

Cancer is a disease that originates from our own bodies. The cells of many organs and parts of organs are regenerated on a daily basis, such as skin and intestines. This means that old cells die and new cells, which will be copies of the old ones, are made. There are mechanisms within our cells that initiate, hinder and control the generation and growth of the new cells, as well as the death of old or malfunctioning ones. Our DNA is the building block of cells and every function and feature of our bodies. The DNA code sequence has to be copied from the old cells to the new cells but this copying often comes with errors. Hundreds of these errors occur in each one of us within a day. However, cells have the way of fixing the errors. If not fixed, then a majority of them will not be harmful due to the location in the sequence. If at the wrong place though, an error could cause serious damage affecting the cell mechanisms that exist in the cells. This could result in the continuous and unstoppable generation and growth of cells, eventually leading to a tumour. These cells, even though normal to begin with, will soon be getting stacked and will begin accumulating more errors and developing new properties.

Imagine that you are hosting a party at your flat which can hold up to 100 people. If the security guy at the door falls asleep and fails to do his job properly, more guests will begin entering the flat. You are unable to control them and soon enough, you have 200 instead of a 100 guests. The guests are still normal people but they are packed. There is no space to move. Then the resources become sparse. Some guests begin opening windows to let fresh air in; others are calling for pizza deliveries since they are hungry – the cells in a tumour can actually extend and grow new paths for blood vessels so they can get their oxygen supply. The guests then begin making noise and the neighbours are disturbed. The guests begin breaking valuable stuff in your house. In the same way, a tumour begins pushing against surrounding organs, causing pain and malfunction of the organs. Eventually, a few of the guests might decide to take the party elsewhere; they crash at someone else’s place and start inviting more of their friends. And you got metastasis.

Is cancer a genetic or an environmental disease?

Cancer is affected by both genetics and by harmful environmental factors. If there is a mutation (an error in the DNA) that can be passed on from parent to child, then there are good chances the child will inherit it. It is not always the case but chances are certainly higher. This mutation will effectively lead to the same type of cancer being developed; that is why you hear that women who have first-degree relatives with breast cancer, are at greater risk and should be monitored more closely. They might have accumulated a mutated gene, which would increase their chance of developing breast cancer.

The environment affects greatly as well though, since certain factors, such as exposure to UV light or cigarette smoke or radioactive materials can damage our DNA, which would lead to more errors happening inside our bodies; more than our bodies are prepared for. Sequentially, more errors will escape the “fixing mechanisms”, therefore increasing the chances of one or more of these errors leading to the development of a tumour. However, we are all prone to developing cancer. A person with the perfect lifestyle and no history of cancers in his or her family can still have cancer. Genetics and environment simply increase the chances.

Will there ever be one cure for cancer?

No, personally I do not believe there will ever be one unique cure or prevention measure (eg. a vaccine) for cancer; at least not in the near future. This is because cancer is a complex disease, it consists of a number of “diseases” one could say and it varies according to the person, its location, its stage, its type, its growth rate. Cancer from person to person, from organ to organ, varies in so many ways; it is not like the common flu or diabetes or HIV. That is why the treatment of each cancer patient has to be designed accordingly and is usually a combinational one; i.e. surgery with chemotherapy or radiotherapy or hormonal therapy for example. Quite often, a rumour floats around that the “pill against cancer” has been found and the drug companies are not releasing it. Let me assure you that there is no such thing. First of all, the company that would sell this “pill” would make millions. Second of all, no self-respecting scientist that works in cancer research would get up in the morning to have another frustrating day in the lab if the cure had already been found. Believe it or not, cancer researchers do not just sit around all day, mixing colourful liquids in tubes and recording the number of bubbles produced.

What is the point of cancer research then?

Cancer research is important in developing more efficient prognostic and diagnostic tools and better-targeted treatments. The sooner a tumour is detected, the earlier it can be treated and prevented from developing into something which will have no return or even metastasising. Also, better-targeted treatments means that they will be more effective at dealing and killing the cancer cells but harming as less as possible of the “good” cells still dominating in our bodies and right next to the cancerous ones. Cancer patients often suffer from chemotherapy, since the drugs are causing harmful effects to their normal, good cells as well. Let us go back at the example of the uncontrollable party that is taking place in your flat; the police are doing their best to get all the noisy ones out of the building but picking them one by one, without hurting the “innocent” ones or disturbing your neighbours, is impossible. Some good ones will go down with them. Nuking the whole building is not an option either! Scientists are the police in this scenario, trying to find out how to better identify the cancerous cells, how to isolate and exploit their weaknesses so that only them go down; helping cancer patients to a longer life and a less painful experience.

Have cancer incidences increased in the last years?

This is debated in the scientific community. Cancer has certainly been always around, since DNA and cells have always been around. Cancer was first recorded in 3000 BC in ancient Egypt and was studied in ancient Greece, given also its name at the time (cancer = carcinos in Greek, which means “crab”). Whether incidences have increased though in the last few years or not, it is not clearly defined yet. First of all, life expectancy has risen. Medicine has prolonged our lives and nowadays, a lot of people live to their 80s and 90s. A few centuries ago, 50 would be considered “old”. Therefore, a longer a person lives, the more chances they have of developing cancer. If x incidences of cancer patients above 70 years old were recorded in the last 10 years, a small percentage would have been recorded 3 centuries ago simply because not that many people would have lived to that age. Also, prognosis and diagnosis of cancer have improved tremendously. Not all cancer cases would have been diagnosed and recorded 80-100 years ago, whereas nowadays hardly any go undetected.

Lifestyle is most certainly affecting though. A healthy lifestyle would contribute to prevention of some cancers, to some extent. A person’s psychology is said to greatly contribute to the treatment of cancer as well – like it would with any other disease. Quite often though, we hear that “substance A” has been found to help treat cancer and “substance A” is actually present in pineapples. Do we stuff our faces with pineapples though and rest assured that we will never develop cancer? No, the answer is not as simple as that. Other questions need to be raised, such as “in what form does that substance exist in pineapple?” and “does the pineapple have any harmful effects?” Bottom line I would say: Everything in moderation. Including the seemingly good things.

The Cyprus Tudors

I recently found myself in Cyprus, my homeland, and besides the heat and mosquitoes, I found one more thing bothering me the most: people’s attitude. As I was watching the TV series The Tudors, I couldn’t help but draw some similarities between England of the 15^th and 16^th centuries and Cyprus of the 21^st century.

1.     It is a male-dominated society – sort of. The colours are a lot greyer in Cyprus but even in The Tudors you could see that men’s decisions were easily manipulated by their lust for women. Yet males still hold more power in some matters, especially when it comes to issues of sex and cheating. If a man sleeps around, he is nothing more than a man – and he needs to be congratulated. If a woman sleeps around, she is a harlot.

2.      Every girl is believed to be a virgin when she gets married.

3.      Sex is far more important than anything else. The country is at chaos, the economy is in shambles, but everyone’s primary concern is “who are we going to f*ck tonight?”.

4.      Every family in Cyprus is royal. Or tries to be. Every man is a president of something, every wife thinks she is the Queen and should be treated so by everyone around her and everyone’s kids are spoiled like little princes and princesses. Everyone’s concern (apart from sex of course) is “whose ass are we going to kiss today?” and how to acquire or elevate their position. Thanks to the small size of the country, the six-degree separation becomes two-degrees and most jobs, favours and privileges are handed out according to whom you know and not what you know.

5.   Friendships are mainly formed according to the social status and acceptance. God forbid you are to be seen hanging around with a person of lower status than you.

6.    Everyone is polite to your face. And secretly sharpening the knife they will backstab you with the minute you are no longer of use to them. People greet you with a smile, call you “my friend”, hug and kiss you, yet can’t wait to spread some juicy malicious gossip about you the minute you disappear out the door. They will use you when need you and forget all about you afterwards.

7.     Homosexual people get married – not with each other but with heterosexual partners. And then cheat on them with their best friends while they are supposedly out having drinks.

8.    King Henry was a greedy, arrogant, bipolar, spoiled brat. The same can be said about the president of Cyprus. King Henry made laws to suit his own needs. The president of Cyprus also puts himself above the law, clearing himself of any responsibilities for anything gone wrong during his reign over the island, such as the confiscated weapons explosion which caused the lives of 13 young people and brought the country’s economy to its knees.

9.     The church has a prominent role. And it is not the role it should have. The church is involved in politics, in scandals and in covering them up, instead of doing their part to lead the people into a pure and virtuous life. Texts are interpreted the way people want them to and in a way that satisfies their own needs. As for the average Christians of Cyprus nowadays, they are more concerned about wearing an expensive suit during the Christmas ceremony than helping a homeless person who might be dying of hunger at the same time they proclaim their love for the newborn Jesus.

10. There are enemies lurking all around the country, yet civil wars are more fun it seems. To expand on this would take years but I should hope so the message is pretty clear and straight-forward.

Cheating - a deadly sin

If you are a cheater and you are reading this, then imagine that every word of this entry is a spit in your eye (no, it doesn’t matter which eye!). I consider cheating one of the worst flaws of humanity and possibly one of the worst things you can do to another human being – especially one you love. Of course things like murder, abuse and rape are considerably more damaging both physically and psychologically but the mentality of the assailant comes into question in those cases. When it comes to cheating, it is simply hurtful. It is one of the most selfish acts a human can do and whatever pathetic argument is popping into your cheating minds right now, I am prepared for an answer.

“It does not mean anything. I still love my partner”. Right, how about you tell your partner about it then? Are you going to hurt them, you say? Well, damn right! How would you feel if you caught your wife on her knees licking on another man’s genitals? Or if you walked in on your boyfriend pinning another girl down? Am I too graphic? Not as graphic as the indecent acts you have been performing against a person you supposedly love more than anything or anyone else. Here’s an idea: Next time you decide to cheat on your girl/guy, just pause for a moment and think about her/him. Think about what you are doing to them. Think that you are disappointing them but also your own self.

“My partner knows about it and they are fine”. True. We do encounter the so-called “open relationships” nowadays. A lot of couples might introduce a third (or fourth or fifth) person in their relationship, claiming that it “spices” up their love life and strengthens their relationship. Fine, I say. If you are open about it and you agree with your partner, please go ahead. Enjoy! If it is, however, one-sided, because you believe that is “healthy for your relationship", but your partner “would not understand”, then please refer to the paragraph above. Besides, wouldn’t you prefer to find a more suitable partner that would agree with you on such a matter?

“It is harmless fun”. Harmless fun with an STD on the side perhaps. Or an unwanted pregnancy. Condoms are only 99% safe. So on every 100^th time you have sex, you can imagine contracting a disease. Oral sex can transfer diseases too by the way, in case you were unaware. Or imagine a little baby being conceived inside you, if you are a woman. Good luck explaining to your husband the baby is not his. Oh wait, you are not going to tell him, are you? You are going to let him think the baby is his, correct? How about if I came over and swapped your baby with another and told you, “this is your own, raise this one”. Will you be cool with it?

“It’s in our nature”. I swear to Lucifer and all the other gods ever worshipped on this planet, if I hear one more person say that, I will slap them! What fucking nature? Is it in our genes? Have you managed to identify the “cheater” gene? Please, share the results with the rest of the world if you have! First of all, not everyone is a cheater. Yes, believe it or not, I know people who have been in long-term relationships, some even in long-distance relationships, and they have been more than faithful. Sure, temptation is always there. Sure, you see a hot person walk down the street and acknowledge the fact that they are hot. Perhaps you momentarily even fantasize about getting it on with them. Actually going ahead with it, is not in your nature though! It’s a choice. So face up to your choices and to their consequences. If you truly believe it is in “your nature” and you cannot be monogamous but would like to fool around, then stay single and fool around. It’s quite easy actually. Oh, but I know. You would still like someone waiting for you at home, ‘cause you are too scared of being lonely, right? Then fucking grow up and learn what “commitment” is all about!

“It was an accident”. An accident if bumping onto someone. Or falling of your bike. Or tripping over the carpet. Shoving an erect penis into a vagina (or mouth, or ass) is not an accident! Follow-up excuses such as “I was drunk, I did not know what I was doing” will not work either. If you drink that much, then you will probably end up vomiting or passing out. Getting an erection at that stage and having sex, is actually quite difficult if you are off your face. Unless you are actually semi-drunk and are using the alcohol as a pathetic excuse for your own incompetency at staying faithful or controlling your lusty desires.

“My relationship was bad anyway”. Then fucking end it! I must say that this is the only excuse I would be able to tolerate as a third person (never if I was the one being cheated on), as it clearly highlights the grey nature of human beings and their weakness at confronting situations or people that are going wrong in their lives. In some twisted, masochistic manner, we choose to fuck up things completely to ensure an end to an undesirable situation, rather than face up to our responsibilities and do the right thing. However, think how much less painful it would have been for both of you, had you cleared the situation from the beginning and let both your partner and yourself move on with your lives separately.

I could go on all night perhaps with the number of excuses one could use to justify such a selfish act. Bottom line is though, that you are simply a selfish, arrogant whore (term may be used for both sexes). Going back to the “nature” argument, it is in our nature to be actually like that. Whether you fight it though or not, proves if you are mature enough and a better person. Violence is in our nature – that is more than certain. And we have all thought of hitting someone at some point in our lives. Maybe even killing someone – if I may say. Most of us hold back though, because there are social constrains and laws against it. If there was a law against “cheating”, I am sure the incidences would drop dramatically. There are no laws though. And there are no major consequences. If they get caught, most cheaters will either walk away or try to make their partner “understand” instead of admitting to the error - both to their partner and within themselves. But as long as the wife/husband is blissfully unaware, then who cares?

And here’s my closing remark: As a third person, I would never be able to fully trust someone who is a cheater (especially repeatedly), whether as a friend or a colleague. Cause if they are doing that to the one person they supposedly “love” more than anyone else, then I cannot imagine what sort of backstabbers they can be to everyone else around them. Their cheating simply proves they cannot and will not ever put anyone else above themselves and their own selfish desires. 

Euro-NoVision

Every now and then, comes a day that a lot of people will be commenting about: Christmas, elections, April’s Fool, the latest Spielberg movie release, World Cup Final, prince William’s wedding. And then, of course, the Eurovision Song Contest. The week leading to the grand final of this amazing event (please do not excuse my sarcasm) is highlighted with video-clips, comments, “good lucks”, anxiety and ridicules of “rival” countries’ songs posted all over facebook walls. On the night of the grand final of this amazing event, it is advised to avoid facebook at all costs, to prevent vomit spillage all over your computer.

So this circus that calls itself “Eurovision Song Contest” is anything else but what the title suggests. Let’s begin with the word “song”. Bad-written melodies and lyrics, mediocre singers, ridiculous outfits and dance moves, all compose songs which will be forgotten by tomorrow – or in a few weeks’ time maximum. At least, I have some appreciation for songs performed in the country’s native language, with traces of traditional music in the tune. As the years progress though, most of the songs sound more and more similar to each other – or more and more ridiculous than their precedes.

Which brings us to the word “Eurovision” and I will only say this thing: On the verge of the Euro collapsing, the whole European and Global economies going to shambles, people losing their jobs and incomes or even unable to find one to begin with, how can these countries – with debts rising faster than Berlusconi’s phallus in front of a naked chick – afford to host, organise and participate in this ridiculous contest?

Ah, contest. Here is the last of the three magical words. This contest is so much guided and manipulated by political scenarios and fake-patriotic bravados, that whatever the true, pure purpose of this competition was, it is now lost forever. Its essence is gone and there is no one able to retrieve it. And every year, the whole story is repeated, with people cheering or booing the same countries, investing their time and emotions in a cause that is no longer a celebration of music but a theatrical parody of our world’s true colours.

Many Happy Returns

Yesterday was my birthday - according to my parents and my birth certificate. And though I appreciate the numerous wishes I received – some probably well-intended, others fake – I dare admit what everyone else seems to blissfully ignore during their birthday: that there is nothing special about this day and that it simply reminds us that we are growing older and steadily pacing closer towards our inevitable death.

I struggle to comprehend the fascination and excitement that others share towards their birthday or birthdays in general. To me, it was just another day. I do not need an excuse to go out and party if I want to. And vice versa: if I don’t feel like celebrating, but would rather have a quiet night in, I should not “have to” do something just because it’s my birthday, or because it’s New Year’s Eve, or because it’s one of those devised “special” days. If people are genuinely happy to have been born and would like to celebrate the fact they survived another year onto this earth, then good for them. Some of us may have a different view on things though.

To me, it is a reminder of all the things I have not achieved yet, of all the goals I did not fulfill during the last year and that the end is getting nigh. It is a reminder that the older you get, the less flexible you become (both in body and in spirit), the less motivated you become and the less chances and stamina you have to try new things. It is echoing of the less risks and gambles you should take, of the more responsibilities you have and of the time that is ticking away.

Even more painful and disheartening are the wishes themselves. Though very much appreciated, some of them simply serve to make you more depressed than you already are. The simplest ones are the best: “Happy birthday” and a couple of “xx”. Straight-forward, to the point, they simply indicate that the person wishing you has taken those 10 seconds out of their time to do so and time is the most precious thing you can offer someone. I like the genuine ones too – and you can tell which ones these are. Some messages will be long but you can tell the difference between those bullshitting you and those who have genuinely taken the time to think about you and compose something nice, funny or original to say. If a person is treating you one way during the rest of 364 days but is super-friendly during your birthday, then they can shove their politeness up where the sun never shines.

And then of course are the wishes of relatives: May all your dreams come true, hope you become successful in all you do, prosper in your career, find a nice girl, get married and have lots of wonderful, perfect kids. No pressure there, right? Not only are you reminding me that I am getting older but you are also reminding me of the fact that I should hurry and make sure I accomplish all of the things you listed, since my life has been a total failure and disappointment so far! And whose “dreams” will be coming true anyway? Have you wondered if I will be happy or if I am happy or do you just take it for granted that changing nappies full of shit is everyone’s dream in life? (This mostly goes out to Mediterranean families who are convinced that they are living the ideal lives, who are too glued onto their kids, thinking they are the centre of the world, believing that their children are perfect and indestructible, and urging their offspring to follow exactly the same path, so that 30 years from now it will be their turn to apply the same pressure to their children, without a single person pausing at any given moment in life to simply dare attempt to view life from a different perspective and perhaps even succeed in enjoying it – if at all possible).

In reality, what are birthdays though but nature’s own ticking time bomb? Birthdays bring us one more step, one more minute, month, year closer to our deaths. Most people are scared by the idea of death. They are frightened of the unknown, of the end, of even hell perhaps (more about death in another blog post). Death does not frighten me though. Sure I am concerned about the way I would die (would not wish to be buried alive for example). I am concerned about the pain and agony I might suffer beforehand, about the things I will regret doing or not doing, saying or not saying and of situations and emotions left without closure. However, I see death as the sweet release. I truly believe that the only free man is a dead man. What does scare me is old age. Failure. Enslavement to this life. And my next birthday. If I’m lucky enough, everything will end in 21^st December 2012 (more about the end of the world in another blog post). But whilst the Apocalypse might be something I look forward to, my next birthday is definitely something I do not.

Football

What is it about football that gets men behaving in their most primal instincts? I personally don’t see what the big fuss is all about. And there is definitely not a “football gene” incorporated into the Y chromosome. Ok, I understand that some people will find it entertaining. Relaxing. Fun. Yet, football, its athletes and its fans, seem to fail dramatically at either having fun or being relaxed about it. And by the way, before I proceed any further to attempt a psychoanalysis on the sport, let me clarify I am referring to “football” as most of the world realises it (hence not American football – though I’m sure the analysis could be easily applied to that as well).

So, first of all, why does a large percentage of the male population get all excited about a sport? If they are participating themselves, I can understand the need for healthy competition (though not always), the need for exercise and for male-bonding. But if someone is simply watching, what do they really get out of it? They get entertainment let’s say, same way someone else is entertained by a movie, a comedy, a concert or a strip show. Yet, I don’t remember the last time people lost their sleep or appetite because Barney did not score in How I Met Your Mother, or got caught into a fight because the villain of a movie got away with murder. Some people tend to get emotional in movies but I’m sure it does not reach the fanatically rage levels that a football fan hits when his favourite team loses a game. So where is the fun part in that?

Let’s go for the male-bonding reason then. Football is a good excuse to catch up with “the lads”, have a beer or two and strengthen your friendship over a Sunday game. Then, keep drinking either because you are celebrating a football victory or mourning a game loss, spent the next 5 hours over-analysing every move of each player and the referee (always in a dramatic and non-objective way), get into a fight and crack someone’s head open – possibly yours. I say: FAIL for the male bonding and the entertainment. If anything, it seems to divide people.

Perhaps we need a closer inspection of the sport itself: 22 young, fit, athletic guys, running around in shorts and sweaty t-shirts. Maybe that is why your girlfriend is a bit pissed off with you: you’d rather give 22 male strangers more attention than her. And her insecurities of course grow! Hey, if you are into that and it turns you on watching them, good for you, please keep watching (do inform your girlfriend though so that she doesn’t freeze to death waiting in her new sexy lingerie in the bedroom). Seriously now though, if you want to appear all butch and tough, watch an episode of “Spartacus”, visit your local strip club or do some sports yourself – don’t scream like a 15-year old praising people like Rooney, as if he is a god on this earth. He can just kick a ball. Is he better than you? Is he a better doctor, lawyer, mechanic, teacher, waiter, salesman, policeman, accountant, musician, janitor, pilot, chef than you? Is he a better husband or a man than you? No. He – and every other footballer – is but a man himself. So why does he deserve your praise or why does he deserve the ridiculous sums of money they are getting paid?

Which brings me to all the loyalty that men have to their own “selected” football club. It is usually passed on from a father-figure since an early stage and most men across the world ensure that their children will also be dressed up from a young age in the colours of their favourite football team. What’s the deal with that? If you have been following football for years and decide to choose one team to support because of their history in successes or because you enjoy the way they play, fair enough. Don’t get all wound up about it if no-one shares the same opinion as you and don’t get your kids all that crazy about it either – it’s just a game. We are not up against the dark forces of Voldemort. The players keep moving from one team to another anyway! Ronaldo will be your best buddy one day and the most hated person on the earth the following week. How immature is that?

And finally, what is with associating football to politics and patriotism? This is very evident in Cyprus; a small community, where unfortunately everyone and everything is closely associated to something else. If you support team A, then you are left-wing, if you support team B, then you are right-wing, if you support team C then you are clueless about politics and in general, and so on. And politics do to football what politics do best: they suck the fun factor out of it. As for the “big games” and the momentary satisfaction it appears to give the whole nation if their country team beats the team of a country they are (or used to be) at war (or generally just dislike): No, it does not prove you are better people. No, it does not offer any justice, or restore freedom and equal rights. No, you are not a patriot just because you watched the football match and you cheered when the opponents cried at their loss.

Coming to a conclusion though, living in a world where everything fake is praised and over-rated (boobs, tans, anorexic models, cheating millionaires, drug-addict singers, aggressive actors) why should football be any different? Football, as most things nowadays, has been exploited and deteriorated. Instead of uniting people who are true football fans worldwide, it divides and distant us. It offers fake pleasures and no-one benefits from it except the clubs, their owners and the footballers, who have risen to consider themselves and be considered by others as demi-gods, next to the likes of Angelina Jolie and Charlie Sheen. They are nothing but people, with a little bit (perhaps) of talent. Then again, most of us have at least a talent. If only we could put as much faith and fanaticism to ourselves and those we (should) truly love, as we put in those 22 young, fit, athletic guys in shorts and sweaty t-shirts

PS. To all female football-fans who might consider my blog "sexist" as it is directed mostly to men, let's be honest: You are missing the point.

8 types of public transport delayers

You all know them. You come across them every day and you all secretly want to punch them in the back. This mostly applies to people who live in big cities – they can comprehend and fully appreciate the chaos and misery of public transport. But whether on trains, buses or boats, whether you deal with them on an everyday basis or less often, we have all been and still are frustrated and angered with the 8 main types of annoying people that cause us delays on public transport:

Stupid people I

Check which way you are going, then pass through the doors (for the underground). Do not swipe your card, walk through and then pause and gaze around with your mouth wide open trying to figure out which underground line or which exit you need. You are blocking everyone else behind you. Get in a damn corner, gather all available brain cells and, hopefully, find your way out.

Tourists

Whether they are over-excited Asian paparazzis, Arabs with large families or hyper-active and loud Mediterraneans, these species are mostly found in herds and can cause severe jams and even more severe headaches. They take pictures of pretty much anything (I thought McDonald’s were everywhere!?), always fail miserably to find their way around quickly and efficiently despite the use of maps and technology and of course take lots of space.

Slow-walking people

People who carry babies or old people should be banned from using public transport during rush hours. At the risk of sounding ageist (probably have already!) I think it’s pretty dumb stupid for these people to travel around during the morning and evening rush hours. Unless it is a matter of emergency, I suggest they wait until the rush hour calms down a little bit before bringing out the canes and the prams and cause delay and frustration to us and to themselves.

The happy couple

Yes, you are in love. Yes, you just got engaged. Yes, you just finished your day and you are going home to shag. Yes, you just re-united after two weeks, four days, eleven hours and seventeen minutes, and you are also going home to shag. No, you cannot hold hands, make out, walk slowly and display any signs of affection that severely delay the other half a million people rushing to go home to shag their partners – or wank, if they are single.

The geeks

How damn interesting is that book or newspaper article (it’s the Metro for crying out loud), that you most definitely need to delay everyone on the escalators or annoy them by claiming your “own” space and flipping pages in their face whilst packed inside the bus or train. The same goes for people who have not discovered the “pause” button on the Angry Birds screen or have not realised there is no internet access underground, hence turning on their precious iPad and attempting to read their emails will disappoint them tragically.

Stupid people II

What’s with some people (mainly women, sorry!) and their inability to speak on the phone and walk at the same time? They come out of the bus or train, the phone rings, they have to answer it right there and then (who knows, house might be on fire) and then talk on the phone, while the walk rate drops exponentially with time and number of words they utter. Unless you are some funny alien species, I’m sure you can learn that your feet and your mouth serve very different functions.

The ungrateful ones

If I let you get on the bus before me, as an act of kindness and respect, whilst I’m carrying a dozen of Sainsbury’s bags, at least have the same respect to decline the offer since you are planning on spending the next ten minutes chatting to the bus driver and asking about the bus, its route, its direction, the ticket price, the flexibility of bus routes, the bus hours and basically anything you couldn’t figure out on your own using the bus stop information.

Chicks

With heels, a dozen bags from designer stores, sunglasses (in the underground, really?!) and the need to apply make-up or walk slowly to avoid shedding a drop of sweat and ruining the precious fringe that cost them £400 and 3.5 hours at the hairdresser’s. Besides, public transport is beneath you, darling. Surely a girl made in Chelsea could afford a limo anyway. So, fuck off my damn way!

Bonus Delayer: Escalator phobics
These are the people who slow down dramatically as they approach the escalators and step on with such a great caution and fear, as if they are about to step on the neck of a newborn baby. On the other hand, you have the people who step off the escalators really slowly and carefully, as if they are about to enter Hades' underworld and is unknown to them what lies beyond the end of the escalator. Use the lift or the stairs next time!

Karma Vs Vengeance

Recently I received some not-so-great news, which I will not share with you nor will I share the nature of the problem, but I would rather skip all that and go straight into the lessons taught (or not).  The problem itself is easily resolved and hardly disturbing; just a bit annoying and frustrating. It adds up though to the series of bad strikes I have always had throughout my life and confirms my suspicions that even though other people lead more reckless lives, I am destined to be targeted and face battles which others luckily escape. This is what makes it most unfair and angering. Why would karma always pick on me, while allow other people who have been unfair, dishonest, immature, irresponsible, sometimes even devious, slip away?

I know what a lot of people will think; that I, like others, enjoy being the victim, thinking that the greater purpose in life is to be unhappy and all that. Don’t get me wrong, I do acknowledge that there are far worse problems in life; life-threatening diseases, wars, poverty, hunger. Yet I can only wish that I could change all that but I can barely influence and alter the things happening in my own life. And even though my problems are minor, it is their summation and continuous flow which makes me wonder if this streak of bad luck will ever end or not.

Just as I was thinking all of the above, enters a person in my life which did me wrong about 5-6 months ago. We stopped communicating, I thought it was all over, yet – like many other idiots of my past – this person made contact after such a long period of time. Normally, I would think “Why don’t these losers get on with their fucking lives and leave me alone in peace? Why do they keep coming back?” However, the timing of this person’s return was more than perfect, nicely aligned with the news I had received on the day, and only one word kept echoing though my brain’s neurons: Vengeance.

The timing was too good to be just a coincidence. Did this opportunity appear itself to me so that I could take advantage of it and have my revenge? I am, after all, a vengeful person, and despite what other people say, I enjoy having the last word and watching people pay for their past actions. I consider it mainly “justice” rather than “revenge”. Or did this opportunity appear itself as a test; to check if I could be the bigger person and move on with my life, without turning back to the past. I chose not to do anything about it in the end. Not for the reasons you might think; not because revenge is wrong or that I would not have achieved anything. Not because I should or want to be the bigger person. If it’s one lesson that I learned from all this, is that being the “nice guy” will not get you far. It’s the lack of morals and principles that usually frees people and allows them to succeed.

I did not do it, simply because it could backfire. And with my history of bad luck, I believe it to be almost certain that this would kick me right back down again sooner, than later. So there you go, I chose not to take revenge purely on selfish reasons; to protect myself and no-one else. Not even for the “good of my soul”. Does that make me an evil person? Perhaps. Yet I do what I must to overcome my latest obstacle and ensure that it does not haunt me anymore. As for the person from the past: Ignoring them was a sort of revenge too, since this is what they did to me in the first place. So, in a way, I did have the last word. It just happened to be a silent one.

iPoo

Following the launch of the newest iPad (is it 3, 4 or 3.62 anyway?), one cannot help but observe and conclude that we live in a dominant materialistic society. Before I start casting stones though, allow me to confess my own sins: I am a chocoholic, I check facebook frequently, I enjoy food (a lot!), i enjoy sex, I like buying new clothes (though not brands) and I cannot do without my iPhone (a couple of times I fell asleep holding it!).

However, there is a big difference between enjoying the pleasures of modern life and technology, and letting them control your whole life. We all desire these – not so cheap – products to some extent. And they are essential to us – also to some extent, depending on our line of work and how important networking is to us. In order to play the game, one has to follow the rules. Unfortunately, whether we like it or not, mobile phones, laptops, computers, iPads, smartphones are becoming a significant factor of our everyday lives. 

Think back, 20-30 years ago. How did people communicate without mobile phones? They would call each other at home – if you are not in, you don’t pick up, tough, try again. How did they find directions without smartphones? They would ask for them. Or carry a map. How did people find answers to all sorts of questions? They used encyclopedias stashed on the top shelf of their bookcase. How did they find out news of their loved ones across the world? They wrote letters to each other. So we could actually survive, without technology.

Yet, since these tools become available to us, should we not use them? Have they not brought us closer to people who live far? Have they not offered us the opportunity for increasing our general knowledge? Do they not enable us to get a task done faster and more accurate? The answer to all of the above is affirmative. However, we need to draw the line and take a step back when we realise that we are not dominating technology anymore, but that it dominates us.

I saw pictures of people sleeping outside the Apple store for days and nights (!), so that they could be the first ones to get their hands on the newest iPad version. Completely pathetic and ridiculous, if you ask me! Allow me to add here, that I have no problem with the specific brand or their products; my only problem lies with the crazy people that drop everything in their lives to queue for the latest product: their jobs, families, responsibilities, personal hygiene (I did mention they sleep out there for days, right?). Last year, a guy admitted to missing his own son’s birthday, so that he could queue outside the Apple store to buy the new iPad. I honestly hope his son grows up to resent him!

I can understand some degree of fascination and curiosity, if you are into technology and gadgets, but to sacrifice so much is unthinkable. I wonder though, who are those people that get to queue out there? First of all, they must have decent jobs and earn a good salary, in order to afford these products on their release day. But heavy salaries usually come with heavy commitments. How are they able to drop everything and take 3 days off for that reason? How do they even tell their boss, without getting fired? Then, let’s say they do get it and take it home all happy and excited like a kid who got his present for Christmas. How much of an impact is it going to have on their lives? How different is it really from the latest version? Why was it so crucial to get it now and not 2 months later?

Unless the latest version of iPad can turn back time and offer you those precious hours you wasted whilst waiting for it and marginalising your life and the lives of those around you for its sake, then you are nothing more but a fool. And whilst you have that prized toy in your hands (cause it is a toy after all), try searching on Google, how many children are dying of starvation today. Or whilst you are queuing for its next release, perhaps look to your side at the homeless man shuffling through the garbage. Maybe you could have put your money into a better use. Angry Birds looks good in the older iPad version as well.

PS. There is actually an application called “iPoo”. I will not even go into it. Have a look yourselves and draw your own conclusions.